Trauma

My God what have I done?
I reflect aspect I am not.
I have done so long in my
life I have myself forgot.

I want you to smile like
I do want others to do as well.
But I have done so so long on
my own faults I don’t dwell.

I’m hiding behind a mirror
and I want your attention.
I want to heal your pain so
mine I don’t have to mention.

Creation has made curious of
little things I see I want to be.
But the hole inside my chest
is incomplete inside of me.

I beg to the gentle red dawn
bring me a day I want to keep
in my mind for quite sometime;
one I even see in my sleep.

Comfort is not found by dancing
for all like some damn clown.
Comfort though resides when I dig
deep and put burdens down.

My grief has led me before to
some dark room cold and low.
Inside such a place my mind
did take me to a place unknown.

My stomach is cramped my Lord
why did you create me for this?
Life is at a pace fast that has kept me
tide in a state of mind where I reminisce.

How did I make them cry or
what indeed have I fully done?
The hole in me tries to keep control
even when clouds shroud the sun.