Elusive Beauty

I’m invisible to those I love
but I still love them true.
I’m thankful everyday after
what I’ve put them through.

Grooves of my transgressions
fluctuate eyes of my beloved.
My past hangs in a parlour
no one walks by they shrug.

Just a version of what was
I sleep not very well nowadays.
But I can not dwell on such
I must see it as if some phase.

My life has taken detours
and I desire to find meaning.
I’ve been deviant and exercised
judgement in bottles dreaming.

In the bed of the hospital I
woke up after my wreck seeming
so long ago even now at night
I wake to sounds of voices screaming.

What I have done to myself?
What can I do to overcome pain?
I’m not quite sure but I know
others have been through the same. 

I am no prophet, sage or wise.
The rain falls and I close my eyes.
I have lived a thousand lives
to find one that I want to survive.

Simple are my ways now
I love to escape and to detach
from the escapade I call life
and create beauty in sad facts.

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